Israel Occupation Forces (IOF)
A special Call for the citizens of Gaza
To all Gazans,
As you well know, we in the IOF have come to protect you from the terrorist group Hamas, which wishes to kill
us all. It is they who have caused your misery and shortages. In order to rid you of this gang, we have moved
into Gaza, with extreme caution, making sure only to target Hamas personnel. Help us to help you! The
following are your instructions – follow those and you shall be safe!
1. When asked to move on by the IOF forces, do as you are told. This is for your own good (remember Deir
Yasin?). If you have enough time, destroy your dwelling using any means at your service. This will deprive
Hamas of new bases.
2. Kindly offer your home to IOF officers for War Against terror Operations.
3. When told by IOF officers to move into new locations, make sure that they are marked with a large circle
with across in it on the roof of the house, for identification purposes.
4. Do not accept any food or water from UN agencies, it may be poisoned by alien propaganda
5. When you see IOF personnel approaching, always use a flag of Palestine to mark your good intentions.
6. Each family moved out of their home can carry 250 grams of provisions. Do not worry about taking any
more, the IOF will be looking after you!
7. Movement restrictions:
Each day, killing operations will be stopped for three hours, or they may not. Watch our site fore further
information: www.IOF. Cleansinggaza2009.castleadopration.nakbatimetables/info
8. On Mormon, Chechen and Hindi holidays, as detailed on the website, a special period of calm will be
added, between the following times:
If falling on Thursday, between 2:57 and 3:06
if occurring on the third Tuesday of the month, between 17:54 and 16:02
9. As a special treat for the population of Gaza, the IOF will stop its operations in Gaza for two whole days,
the 29th and 30th of February, in order to allow time for holiday bookings and purchase of travel tickets to
other solar systems. On those days, all children in Gaza will get a special Cast-Lead Dreidel for Hanukah, and
two bonbons per child, or varicolour variety. This offer is time-limited, and will not be extended.
10. In order to help the IOF forces to bring peace, calm, civilisations and Zionism back into Gaza and the
whole region, there are a few things you can do to help us. This will help to speed things along. Do the
- destroy your own house! This way you are in control, can take your time over it, and do it with feeling - we
understand how difficult it must be seeing your property destroyed by total strangers!
- Kill your own family! Why let insensitive strangers with little time on their hands do it?
- Commit suicide! This way you know that your suffering will be over at last.
- Do not forget to bury the dead in an orderly manner – un-cleanliness spreads disease! Hygiene is our most
important priority when we cleanse the Gaza strip of its inhabitants.
- In case of further queries, our special teams can help you! Just go to any passing tank and knock three
times on the armour, to be immediately attended to.
The IOF is doing its utmost to help you and protect you! If you have any complaints about the behaviour of IOF
personnel, please leave your typed, completed forms, in triplicate, at any IOF Complaints Box. The forms can
be downloaded from our website.
The Supreme Gaza Kommandant, General Ehud Barak
More from Haim here